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If you have an older sister who plans the agenda for vacations in your family, cares for your parents or grandparents, and organizes family holidays, she may have "eldest daughter syndrome." A licensed family and marriage therapist, Kati Morton, explained the eight "symptoms" of this term in a viral video on TikTok.
These symptoms include feeling responsible for others, overachieving, anxiety, people-pleasing, and placing boundaries, feeling guilty, having difficulty with adult relationships, and feeling resentment towards siblings and parents.
However, "eldest daughter syndrome" is not a diagnosable condition, according to Laurie Kramer, a professor of applied psychology at Northeastern University. Birth order and gender do not mean that someone will automatically have specific traits or roles within the family.
Kramer's research, which focuses on sibling relationships, suggests that many eldest daughters end up taking on duties without recognition due to societal norms. This dynamic creates a family environment where the older daughters are socialized to take on more responsibilities and be more conscientious of others' needs.
This situation can lead to resentment not only between parent and child but also between siblings. Many eldest daughters end up shaping their personality and relationships outside the family due to taking on more responsibilities.
Kramer explains that first-born/older girls are often asked to take on a caretaking role with their younger siblings, creating a family dynamic where they learn to be more responsible and aware of others' needs. This dynamic can continue into adulthood in which the older siblings may end up caring for elderly parents, creating a burden on particular individuals.
Eldest sons are not exempt from taking on more responsibility within the family, but they are often expected to take on financial responsibilities instead of responsibilities around the house or caregiving.
Kramer emphasizes that other factors play a role in establishing a family dynamic, such as age gap between siblings, how well siblings get along with each other, and whether there's a family member with a medical condition that requires more attention. It's essential to avoid assigning roles to children based simply on birth order. Parents should create an environment where children can speak openly if they feel something is unfair.
In conclusion, Kramer suggests it's vital that we don't look at this as a horoscope, and parents have choices every day when parenting their kids.Now feel free to evaluate yourself if you are the eldest and see if you do have the ELDER SISTER SYNDROME.
