Photo Credit: Dallas Cowboys
Being a Dallas Cowboy cheerleader came at a terrifying price for Victoria Kalina. The fourth-year veteran discussed her severe struggles with body image and mental health during her time on the club.
"I've never been open about it, but my depression turns into this bad cycle," Victoria said in the documentary America's Sweethearts: Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders on Netflix. "When I experience severe depression, I resort to unhealthy coping mechanisms, which lead to unhealthy eating patterns. Additionally, eating disorders combined with despair are the worst things a dancer has to overcome."
"When that depression zone hits, I go through the cycle," she said. The cycle is one of binge-purge. The purpose of the binge is to fill that void and feel wonderful again. However, when it's time for the game, you gotta get into those baby clothes, get into that baby uniform, and that cycle just keeps going."
The 24-year-old said she wasn't prepared to put away her pom-poms after the COVID outbreak and the ensuing lockdown, so she chose to take a year off.
She remembered, "I just felt very out of it." "I didn't think I could represent DCC to the best of my ability without that year. I started therapy as soon as I made the decision to take a year off."
And in the end, it was a learning experience.
"I've learned that I do not like to feel my feelings," she said. "I believe this is the reason I hide my feelings. We all have a propensity to put up a front, in my opinion.
Victoria thought that her teammates weren't trying hard enough to be her friends, so her hopes of going back to the field diminished after that period off.
She said, "I just love making people happy," with tears in her eyes. "When I don't feel like it's being reciprocated, it's very exhausting and hard not to think you're not liked."
Victoria ultimately made the decision to quit the team at the end of the season, and she later revealed on June 23 on YouTube that she had moved from Texas to the East Coast in order to seek other chances. Kelli Finglass, the longstanding director of the Cowboys, is encouraging of her new endeavor, despite the bittersweet nature of it.
"Victoria made the right decision for herself," she recently told E! News. "I think she's got big plans moving on. I wish her nothing but the best. I think she can and should be successful."
